Nishiee

2011-05-23T20:24:00.000+08:00

And its not easy one bit.

2011-03-09T15:46:00.002+08:00

Well... Hello again.

Its been long and well, you can choose to blame it on technology and the extra box of laziness that is secretly packed along with it. Since school ended, I could literally count the number of times I've used my laptop for anything because I've been able to access everything through my little Blackberry :)

I guess you can say I've become lazy. Blame it on twitter and its 140 character limit. Everything I want to express or anything I feel is summarized into 140 characters and VIOLA its done. I mean yes, it does come with its benefits cause well now i've got to think through sentence structure and choosing appropriate words and etc. If only twitter existed in my Secondary school days. Summary used to be my weakest shit.

So I'm done with school. That day everyone looked forward too didn't turn out to be anything like I thought it'd be. When reality sunk in, suddenly school seemed to be the better option. Every morning I wake up with a head filled with questions. What to do today? What do I want to achieve etc. It doesn't help that my dad bugs me everyday and any tom, dick and harry I meet asks the same questions I dread " so what are your plans now?" Gaaaaaah!

I've got so many things running through my head, I dont know which to begin with. I just wished I could dig my brain out and just give it a real good scrub. Just wash everything and put it back in. I've got a whole list of things I want to achieve by my 21st and I need a real good boost. I can't seem to start. Its just all words with no actions. I need to hire a motivator, to be my cheerleader, to kick start my day and end it filling fulfilled and satisfied.

Dear God,

You know the things running though my head.

You know the things I worry all day

You know how i feel

You know what I lack

HELP ME!

LOVE, ME

I wished I could grab someone with me, grab my starbucks and sit on the rooftop of Vivo and just spill out everything. ):

Anyone?

2011-01-10T15:17:00.001+08:00

I should never be too sure of myself.

I should never be confident.

I should never feel good.

Cause it all ends with a big fucking slap on my face.

2010-11-16T23:24:00.002+08:00

An unexpected call from a friend made my day.

Yes there ARE people who CARE!

I was wrong to think that people are selfish.

I'm going to sleep with a smile plastered on my face today (:

Thank you friend ( you know who you are) if you see this! (:

2010-10-25T14:15:00.002+08:00

Its just a day away. PLEASE I pray let this be the last time and THE time I actually DO WELL!

I've done my best. I tried to give my all. This time please I lay it all down before you Dear God!

Love ,

ME :)

2010-10-04T21:54:00.001+08:00

If only for today, I am unafraid.

2010-09-21T21:57:00.002+08:00

Will you grab me by the shoulders and shake the crap out of me?

Throw a bucket of ice cold water right at me.

Smack a wooden plank on my head.

Just slap me right and left on my face! That should do.

Will you?

2010-09-21T20:19:00.003+08:00

I'm swollen with emotions.

I've been spending my nights up thinking through alot of stuff.

Am I not good enough?

What am I lacking?

What am I not doing right?

Why am I not pushing myself harder?

Am I bothering too much?

Do they even care?

Am I too naive?

Am I too ignorant?

Why am I like this?

Why do they do this?

What am I feeling?

How can I get rid of this feeling?

Why is all this happening?

WHY ME?

“Cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?’ Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’ But conscience asks the question, ‘Is it right?’ And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one it is right.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

2010-09-16T20:19:00.001+08:00

Just. Almost. Perfect.

2010-08-01T22:45:00.001+08:00

The world better prepare for when I'm a MILLIONAIRE! (:

2010-07-18T14:19:00.004+08:00

I've no inspiration to let the words flow out through my fingers.

I've been having writers block ):

I've so much to say but i dont know where to start.

I'm still down in the dumps. Haven't really gotten out yet and i dont know if its cause I cant seem to get up, or i'm just plain lazy to make an effort. Its like sitting on a boat and saying"im gonna row im gonna row" but you're stagnant hoping for a gust of strong wind to get you moving.

I'm a fucking procrastinator.

I need ,

a real good slap,

someone to sit and sulk with,

to sit and groan about life and school,

to laugh about the stupid shit we do,

to share the happy times with.

sighs!

Growing older really makes you think about alot of stupid things.

Someday someday.

till then i'll live in my little imaginary world with my Superhero B-)

Yes i dont really like superman but this pic was kinda coool :D ahahaha

Just some pictures hahaha I find appropriate :D LOVE LOVE PEOPLE!

YAWOZ! haha

Peace out lovely people! :D

LOVE YOU!

nisha hearts erika

2010-06-15T10:55:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!

You've been one of the best things ever and I'm so thankful for sticking with me through thick and thin. Through all the drama in sec school. We've grown together and somewhere you've shaped me into who i am and I'm sure i've shaped you too ;D

HAHA i just realised Louisa's face is in the back.

From the girl who was my dance partner during our sec 1 orientation to my most favourite girl ever its been 8 years and counting. I still haven't forgotten our india trip post grad and our wedding plans :D I still want to sit on the rocking chair beside you telling you you're old and married with grandkids you shouldn't be checking out the cute young gardener ;)

I'll be there for you cause you'll be there for me too:D

CHEERS ERIKA! WELCOME TO THE TWENTIES!

Just some nonsense to remember our teenhood.

Flipping the fins.. knock on the head.. dooooode

Celebrateeeeeeeee good times come on ! with our stupid dance action

and I'm A SURVIVOR CAUSE YOU"RE MY SUPPLIER! (sec with your HUGE PENCIL BOX>

Gandhi thomas edison

you bring peace, i bring light!

screaming at the esplanades on our emo days!

SO MANY MORE

LOVE YOU ERIKA SHIMADA! This is for not being able to be there with you on ur birthday :(

2010-06-15T10:40:00.002+08:00

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life.

if anything should happen

alittle bit of heaven alittle bit of hell.

I feel as if im wasted and I wasted everyday

mind cant get no rest. it keeps walking around.

What am i doing wrong? I keep on trying.

If I just stay asleep will it be over?

I hate days like this when I just feel so lousy.

all i want to do is just sit in a corner and sing sing SING.

So randomly at mika's concert yesterday, amidst all the screaming and the singing, i realise how much music really expresses us ad beings. That moment, I fell deeper into it and realised how big a difference it does to me.

I'm stuck in the middle not knowing to go right or left.

STAGNANT.

Where do i go from here?

is there anybody home?

2010-05-13T09:30:00.002+08:00

One by one, everything seems to be going wrong.

I dont know what to do and how all this is going to end.

The only thing I know to do is pray. Everyday I say a silent prayer, hoping everything goes on well and this shit is over.

Do you really care? Did we do something gravely wrong thats why you're doing this?

I'm not in the mood to rejoice and somehow even though it was my birthday and I had alot of hopes that I was going to enjoy my day, I couldn't help but feel so down in the dumps. 1 day of fun, laughter, PEACE and JOY was all i wanted but somehow I wasn't lucky i guess. Maybe cause I was alone, which made me think so much. I'm grateful for the well wishes I got from friends and loved ones but i couldnt help but feel something was missing. Something I couldn't put my finger to.

Whatever it was, I touched by the little gestures done, to make my day. Its been ages since I blew a candle off a cake ( excluding the countless times i blow off other's haha ) . Thanks Rev, Mil and Jianing(: . Dinner was simple. PRAWN CURRY! My favourite and I'm totally thankful and love my father for cooking it specially (: So thoughtful of him and it was SO awesome. Especially the almond ice cream

Thanks everyone for the wishes and though I might not have mentioned you guys, Im equally touched and thankfull for everything thing you guys have done and making the effort to make my day as special as can be. (:

I'm off to find my mind and soul.

I need to get back on track. Life seems so meaningless and I've got to find something and keep myself driven. I cant disappoint anymore.

LOVES !

2010-04-27T22:15:00.002+08:00

I dont know why I like to care so much when i dont even get half of it back.

I know we're not supposed to expect returns but I'm sure even a little return wouldnt do harm.

I'm always giving, giving and GIVING but NOTHING comes back.

I always end up feeling used and so taken for granted each time I give.

It happens EVERYTIME. I dont know why.

I dont know what to do anymore.

I throw myself into things too much. I should just step back and play hard to get too so i wont be taken for granted.

I' always making the first move ALWAYS and even then I get shit back!

No more! no MORE! im only going to bothe about the ones who show they care.

those who deserve it. I'm glad there's atleast these little group I know I can hold on to and never be taken for granted.

I love you guys (: Seriously.

2010-04-17T13:26:00.001+08:00

Finally got my song up!

Im so drained

I need motivation

I need that push

Something's wrong with me.

One day!

days,months and years dont matter in friendship

2010-04-13T10:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes its the people you least expect, that make your day!

2010-04-10T11:07:00.001+08:00

Just the thought of school bursted every bubble i was floating on all this while.
I just doomed and screwed..
I dont know what to do anymore.
Screw this fucked up shit!

2010-04-08T10:16:00.002+08:00

I'm turning 20 in less than a month? 20...TWENTY!
Yet somehow I lack the privacy any 20yr old is supposed to have. Not only am I not treated like an adult, I'm not even respected as an individual.

I'm not a kid anymore. Let me spread my wings and fall flat on my face so that I'll be able to get back up. The only thing happening now is me being pushed around not able to raise my head and voice my thoughts! Stop living in denial. There are 2 of us grown up girls in the house already and yet we're treated like kids.

When you look at many 20 yr olds, you'll actually realise that I dont "roll" the same way they do!

When, When, WHEN?

2010-04-07T20:59:00.002+08:00

So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me, hold me like you'll never let me go cause im leaving on a jetplane dont know when i'll be back again.

2010-04-01T10:06:00.002+08:00

Dont wanna be alone tonight on this planet we could earth.
What do you say to taking chances?

Not knowing if there is solid ground below, a hand to hold or hell to pay.
What do you say?

2010-03-31T22:42:00.002+08:00

I had a good day today. just laughing away and it really feels good to just let it all out.

2010-03-27T17:11:00.001+08:00

I'm such a loser. Dont you think so?

2010-03-22T22:23:00.004+08:00

I had fun today! hahaha we did nothing but sit and laugh and it didnt even cost me a bomb!
hahahaha my pocket doesnt have a hole yet (:
I actually smiled all the way home because I felt good after SOOO long! just the therapy I needed! THANKS GUYS(:
Atiqah, DOODLES [Mellisa], Keegan and CY (:

Hmmm my train journey home, I was asked a question which kept me pondering the rest of my joruney home. Do i want to join NS? Hmmmm well I definitely would wanna! I mean its like a plus for fitness and its a whole different experience. Its something that only last a few months but it stays with you all the way...Well the memories la. I want to join NS and get in to the air force. FLY HIGHHH! and oh all the cute pilots and the gorgeous look planes;) HEAVEN!

Hmmmm after so many negative posts.. I think today I've finally got something nice to blog (: what a coincidence my sis too!

2010-03-22T09:43:00.002+08:00

Bless this house dear Lord I pray, keep us safe by night and day.

I'm living with tension everyday. I keep thinking something's going to happen!

I need a distraction.

I woke up today and IT popped in my head. Wtf was I thinking. But i'm glad I didnt budge at all.

2010-03-16T20:36:00.002+08:00

GAH! This week has been SHIT and nothing but SHIT.

A feeling of fulfilment and satisfaction, to feel peace in my whole being was something I've been wanting to feel for SO long and finally I did.
Saturday was Sivarathri, where we're supposed to go pray to Lord Shiva and stay up the whole night, so Ac, my sister and I went. First to the Geylang one then to the Kallang one. Kallang, my all time favourite, just stepping in there was as if the whole atmosphere came gushing right in.
I came home with a big smile on my face as the music from the temple still played in my head, I was finally at peace only to get it all flushed in the toilet an hour or so later.

Just cause you're my father doesn't give you the rights to choose my beliefs and values.
I am an individual. I'm packaged with the ability to choose my values and beliefs according to whatever I feel makes me happy. Yes you are my parent and I'm living under you and t was you who thought me all this but SO? Blind lead blind la? If you think jumping off the building is the right thing, I too should follow you? I'm 20 now and I'm already an adult. Respect is all about give and take. Remember it always takes two hands to clap.

Another drama.
Every time there's a problem, walking out of the house doesn't make solve the problem in anyway, instead its only making it bigger. Just how many years already have you been doing this kind of shit? Has it solved ANYTHING? I'm boiling more and more each time I see you cause I remember all the shit you always say. So much for being a mother. You just don't know how lucky you are till we're finally gone and by then its going to be too late. FCUK!! I'm boiling just thinking of it!

Both of you seem to be taking us all for granted and its time you guys see the light before its too late. We're reaching our saturation point soon!

I thinks it about time only before either of us runs away from home.

An eye for an eye makes the world go blind - Gandhi

2010-03-12T22:31:00.006+08:00

You're pushing me slowly and slowly towards the edge and I swear once im there i'm NEVER coming back! There's only so much I can do on my part to tolerate this shit the rest is up to you.

You're like an empty vessel that refuses to fill yourself up with necessary stuff and SHUT UP! It wont hurt to REFLECT once in awhile. You're an insecured thing that just thinks everyone is picking on YOU! HELLO! THE WORLD DOESN'T ONLY REVOLVE AROUND YOU! Every action has an equal reaction. I'm boiling and I think I might explode anything soon. Hurting myself just to vent my anger is only going to affect ME. i'm only 2o and i'm sorry! I think I'm still not even halfway in my journey of life to even consider damaging any part of my mind, body and soul for YOU!

I banged my fist hard on the door and now my nerves feel tight suddenly. Right hand of all the hands!

One thing is for sure. If I were to get blood pressure as I grow, I'm blaming YOU.

"Every women becomes their mother. That is their tragedy." ~The importance of being earnest, 1895.

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss, at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."~Honore de Balzac

Sore

2010-03-05T10:18:00.002+08:00

Ding Dong!

I'm dead TIRED! hahaha two consecutive days of speed walking is reminding of muscles in my body I never knew existed. 5.30 in the morning and i'm already waddeling somewhere down the streets with my papa and my sister. goodness my i'm 30 plus years younger than my dad and yet he walks way WAY faster than I can even catch up! what an embarrassment!

Yesterday was day 2 of walking and to top it off. I went to the zoo with Sc in the afternoon! As it is from day 1 i was gifted with 5 blisters on my foot and with that, i waddeled my way arnd the ZOO! imagine the pain! haha but it was fun!

I'm aching all over.. haha gosh i've been so inactive! i'm terribly tired and i need a really good sleep! I need to clear my head of all kinds of stuff and get on with life. UGH! I need a break from life please!

Stagnant

2010-03-02T22:17:00.001+08:00

Attempt to study yet again : FAILED

Left home as per usual to catch the 12pm bus to cityhall but got too comfy in the bus, decided to bus down all the way to Vivo. Haha lazy to travel I decided on starbucks which ended up being a flop because

1. AIR CON NOT WORKING= NISHA CAN'T FOCUS! I need to be cool else i get all agitated!

2. atmosphere was just sooo hmmmmm. This starbucks was sort of hidden on the lower floor somewhere, so not many students actually know it exists.
By the harbor where the ships occasionally sound their horns. With my cup of Iced shaken Lemon tea I was drifting off else where.
Something about Vivo that brings a certain nostalgic feeling. There's a certain serenity I find there and somehow its all too peaceful that somehow it makes it impossible to study there! haha Sighs.

Current location: Bras Besah Mac. trained my butt down to cityhall hoping to study! I just landed. With my cup of Lemon Tea and Apple pie.. Let's hope I get something in my head.

I need to do alot of mind clearing. Looks like i might be visiting Vivo again soon! Anybody wants to come? Gosh it was just too hot to sit at the deck today.... sighs!

Bless this soul dear God I pray!

LOVES!

Who wants to hear me out?

2010-03-01T15:27:00.003+08:00

current location: harbour front starbucks sipping on my Mocha Fappucino ice blended. MMMMMMmm Yumm (:

So my attempt to lug my sister's 2kg plus vaio to research for my FYP has been a flop! hahaha

I've been here for 3hrs and I only used less then 20 mins for work and the rest was just left stoning and reading through all stuff and all my older posts.

Plugged in to my Mp3 with songs blasting in my ears I was so into all my browsing, reminiscing and getting all the heart itchy syndrome when suddenly I it was as if my Mp3 was connected to my brain or something but EVERY song was so appropriate to the things i was reading, the mood i was in and whatever emotion I was feeling. AMAZING huh? haha

Gosh the heart itchy syndrome! feel like using a fork and scratching ! (ouch) hahahaha well my battery span is dying to the last 10 mins so i guess i gotta pack up soon an shift my butt up to vivo deck to stone a while then train my butt down to tuition! i'm giving tuition again to the same boy !hahaha the father wants me back cause the son insists on having me only! haaha ((: okay somehow tht sentence phrasing suddenly seems so wrong hahaha!

Anyways! Cheers and peaceout

I'll update again later or tmr! <3

LOVES!

2010-02-24T20:42:00.001+08:00

loneliness is the worst feeling ever!

2010-02-19T12:29:00.005+08:00

UPDATES!!

Hahaaha I was supposed to post this up the day I came from India but I was too lazy so I'll do it today since I seem to be rotting.

Wells whilst in India, I did a daily journal in my handphone every night and so here it goes. No edits. (=

Day 1( just arrived from airport)

Hmmmm I just arrived and so far everything seems to be going okay. My plane journey was fun! Well its just been a few hours and everyone is drowsy. Windows down and car speeding i had the wind in my face! Something I've wanted to do for so long! AHH the feeling was just AWESOME! LEts hope everything else goes well from here! Gosh its so bloody hot and theres only one miserable fan. Im still surviving!

Day 2 ( Reception Day )

We went to the family temple. So nice to step into a temple after so long! So peaceful! Camwhoring on the rooftop with pest (=

I feel awkward now. Like an insignificant thing. The way these people scruntinze you is so horrible. I'm so conscious to wear tmr's outfit. Jesus! Can't they just accept the fact that I'm not one of them?

( these people referred to the irritating aunties who came for the reception )

Day 3 (wedding day)

Wedding went well occasionally feeling insignificant but oh wells it was fun. The things i saw whilest travelling on a charted bus which was fun. Haha went to the groom's house.. Big! haha oh the eyewash. Sighs after staying here 3 days and witnessing brotherhood makes me feel so warm and wished I had a brother too, They call me Molei so easily yet you feel a certain warmth in it. Two big brothers! I want! I wish we could stay in contact but then again i dont think so :( Oh! 3 days still not emptied! ;) Man time is flying too fast i dont wanna go home yet! Somehow I have gotten used to the way things are done here! The toilets too just that I still haven't learnt the art of bathing yet! tmr we're heading to the waterfalls <3>

Day 4 ( Waterfalls in tamil nadu / roadtrip )
My whole day was spent on the road travelling to the waterfalls in Tamil Nadu! The place was realy awesome a pity I didnt bring extra insides else I would have played more! Haha priya and I have not had a proper bath yet since yesterday morning! Haha! Hais i had a good time gossiping with my teacher aunty today about everything in the family! We really need to pray real hard! Its so amazing how someone we hardly see can have so much of affection for us and that too genuine. I'm Loved (: I wish I could stay longer so i can learn more culture and traditions! Its so rich with culture here! Memo to self. We must always pray and when there is peace at home, there will be peace everywhere! A very important thing i learn't! Day 4 still with a full tank and heart filled with warmth! I love it here! There's so much of love! Signing off! Loves!

Day 5 ( Allepey Dr Aunty's house )
A looooooooooong day! We went to Allepey! The view was awesome and the house was pretty but! we were bored to death! With only the camera, the roof and the tv to entertain us! One whole day wasted! But okay! At least I got to spend some time with my aunty! I dont wanna go home yet! ): Oh oh the tank is now empty :)

Day 6 ( bye bye India ) I'm leaving today! I really dont wanna leave. I hate the life in Singapore. I hate the thought of school again. And I going back to reality. I like the warmth and love here! I'm definitely coming back again! Incredible India!<3>

Sighs! Reading back makes my heart itchy. My papaji just returned today and he said it's been a very memorable trip for him. 300 dollars worth every cent! <3><

2010-02-05T14:46:00.004+08:00

Namaskaram!!!!!!!!

I'm back from India!
well physically... I left my heart back there in Mayaanad! ):
They're all so warm and loving and the place is just so peaceful. Where all you hear is the honking of passing cars and the barking of Timmy and Jimmy!
Big big mosquitoes and spiders compete for room to sleep and bathe but somehow we get used to them.
I think twice before I swallow the water while my shower but then its something I get used to soon after.

We grumble when we see the poo but then smile when we see the culprits.
India oh India! Magical you are indeed.
Its only been 6 days but it felt like forever.
I'll come back for more and that is definite
and one day who knows. We might live there till forever!

P.s And i'll take a picture of an elephant and I'll sit in an Auto! Oh and the public bus too! :D

Incredibly Magical India <3

2010-01-22T09:43:00.002+08:00

i'm so sick of this shit.
Its been happening too often and it just keeps getting out of hand.
Wake up and smell the air. Its not always going to be the scent of roses and freshly cut grass. There are going to be times where someone farts in the air and its going to STINK!

Jesus! There's enough problems for us to be worrying about shit like this!
Sighs.

and to YOU.
I think you just take me for an idiot and I just keep letting myself be that idiot and I dont know why!

2010-01-18T20:29:00.002+08:00

I missing alot people now and I'm wishing I was else where rather than where I am now.

I've come to a realization recently, that I have nothing against the course i'm doing. I actually do enjoy cracking my head over this kind of stuff but its my environment thats just not making it right for me. I started off my 1st semester horrible and hoped to end my semester 2 well only to have struggled AGAIN. Although it isnt as bad as my first sem because this people are better! There goes me ending this second year in poly again with horrid grades. Year 3 is my only hope!

Sighs

I missed Erika alot today ):

I cant wait to meet her and just squeeze every ounce of juice out of her!

Alot of things have been happening. We'll just let nature take its course!

Bless this house oh God I pray! Keep us safe by night and day!

2010-01-15T11:45:00.002+08:00

I'm stronger than that.

Gave me the world to take it all away.

2010-01-11T09:24:00.002+08:00

I've been blessed so far. thank God i didnt skip.

Dear God I pray let it go well today,
I've gone through enough I'm totally tired.

spare me this once and let it be good. Ive got enough on my head I dont want to add more.

I've disappointed them enough, I dont wish to anymore.

Dear God I pray please let it be good today!

LOVES!

2010-01-10T12:19:00.001+08:00

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac

BullShit!

2010-01-08T21:49:00.007+08:00

When you're so down and you look through your contact list in search for someone
to talk to and you realise there's no one.

So what if you have 100+ contacts in your
phonebook/MSN/Facebook and there is no one there when you need them most.

So many things inside.

I feel like walking down the streets and randomly pulling
someone to accompany me for coffee so that I can just yadda yadda away.

Im so saturated Im afraid I might suddenly collapse from a heavy heart.

I'm sorry to be negative in my first post of the year but I've been waiting so long.

Somehow this horrid place I call home is the only thing I find comfort in.

I could just do anything and be anyone.

Its the one thing I always look forward to when Im out admist people I dont belong with.

Home is where the heart is.

The comfort of seeing my toothless grandfather ( who wears dentures) grinning
whenever he sees us just gets the heart all itchy.

Though I complain of boredom when Im over at his's, its one place so filled with love, that all I want to do all day is snuggle up beside him
and just scratch his back for him, cut his toe nails, moisturize
his leg anything at all because all you feel is L-O-V-E.

The feeling of acceptance regardless of race, size, intelligence or weatlh.

Its time like this I miss that old man of mine.
I should go see him soon.

Give him a BIG FAT HUG and squeeze every ounce of juice out of him.

I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!

Theres no head or tail in this post but heck! what gives!

Oh and

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
we're going into our 6th year of blogging (:

2009-11-12T20:38:00.003+08:00

I guessed i said it all to early.

Next time I should keep my mouth shut and never say those 3 words again.

I am ~~happy~~ I ~~think~~

2009-11-12T14:12:00.002+08:00

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee dancing freely in the air
and backstreet boys blasting in my ears.
Nothing could be more perfect then this.
Finally my moment ALONE.
I came intending to do my PP then i decided what the heck.
I think i deserve this break.

I'm happy. I think

2009-11-05T15:41:00.001+08:00

When love takes over.

2009-10-27T21:10:00.002+08:00

So many thoughts

running through my mind!!!

2009-10-22T21:41:00.003+08:00

Its time to realise though we stay under the same roof,

our lives are still different in someways.

Everyday we leave the house to live separate lives and

return home to somewhere where we're all the same.

We all come back with news to share.

Some not so good, some really awesome

and some maybe just random.

Every victim has a culprit.

Everybody has their days and everyone gets disappointed.

Its not about tit for tat.. its just you shouldn't just jump at everything

and start cursing and swearing that everyone is the idiot

and how you hate this this this and that that that

cause everyone is selfish and friends are better.

You and him have the same habit and that is always

thinking that everybody else

is just waiting to harm you and everyone is the bad guy

always waiting to tit for tat

you okay!

When tell you, you wont listen. instead you get all hyped up

and spill all your vocab and all your hating this and hating

that so I'll just say it here!

If we're going to jump and pick on everything then we're just

missing all the other things because there are bigger problems

to worry about and there are many more reason to be happy then to grumble.

there's a saying " we walk past the garden everyday

but never once stopped and notice the flowers blooming admist the chaos"

I've said what I wanted to say already

2009-10-13T15:14:00.004+08:00

SOMEBODY CALL 995... THERE'S A FIRE IN THE CLASSROOM.....IN MY HEARRT!!!

Straight through my heart... he shot me. Just one look and I heard a bell ring.
.. just one smile and I forgot everything Whoaaaawhoaaaaa

Mamma Mia!

God bless priya for calling me... Jesus if looks could kill, i would be dead by now.

It was like a sudden gust of wind slammed right in my face.

The world stopped spinning

I stopped breathing

Everyone was still.

Wah wah so drama sei! hahahaha

gosh i dont know whats wrong with me....

Troubleshoot me please someone! HAHAHAHA

it's time you remembered who you really are.
	You are not your wallet, your job, your kids, your house. You are not your activities or your worries or the labels other people give you. Like an actor you play these roles, and like a good actor you sometimes forget who you really are. Time to wake up now, and remember that you are a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.

________________________________________________________

My message from God. Apparently he is hinting something at me because for the past few days or even weeks some doubts have been running through my head but im glad I caught them by their legs and tied them up.

The past few days... I've been thinking through ALOT .
Its definitely something that is going to take time to get over but i believe EVENTUALLY I will.

School is good!
keep it going (:

2009-10-09T14:51:00.003+08:00

in·fec·tion (ĭn-fĕk'shən)

Invasion by and multiplication of pathogenic microorganisms in a bodily part or tissue, which may produce subsequent tissue injury and progress to overt disease through a variety of cellular or toxic mechanisms.

This people have some kind of thing that simply ooozes out and gets into my system, making me want to work, work and WORK!

Its like when you open the door, its just a gust of optimism blows right in your face. A huge different from the class I had last sem (AMEN that is over).

I can do with this and Im really happy SO FAR and they always say a good start, is an even better ending.

I'm infected with the optimisitc bug and I'm hoping no vaccine comes and destroy please.

Oh wells. Past is past and I've learnt alot from there. Its a new beginning.

On another note, I realised im more comfortable with guys because:

Guys make better friends because they dont judge,

they dont bitch

and they dont make a fuss.

Girls just like to yep yep yep and irritate! Im one myself and I've done it myself so i know im not simply saying empty words.

Haha . I feel GOOD (:

Hey you! Be my Peter Pan? (:

“The optimist already sees the scar over the wound; the pessimist still sees the wound underneath the scar”

2009-10-06T10:58:00.003+08:00

Something about you that makes me wanna say Yooooo, i dont know your name but excuse me boy, i saw you from across the rooooom.

Im tired. mentally.physically

something inside keeps pushing me to move on.

Hmmm on that note, Ever had a time where someone whom you barely know, just makes you smile each time you see them?

Hahaha its so cute cause everytime i see that person, all is smile and sometimes i dont realise im doing it until i get caught.

Oi you kuchee kuchee!
you're seriously very cute. I've been seeing you for a loooong time.

emotions cannot be explained. =)

2009-09-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

I need a break from life.

someone hear me out!

I listen, listen, listen and LISTEN but never get heard.

NO... No one will ask me how am I or how was my day or even let me talk. NO ONE!

F@%K LA!

2009-09-13T18:49:00.003+08:00

I think im becoming someone i dont want to be.

I dont feel like me no more

its like all i want to do is sprawl somewhere and just do nothing yet another sight of me is hungry of thirlls. I want some excitement! I'm SICK and i seriously mean SICK of this mundane life. Sure there are thrill here and there but UGH! I dont like. I DONT LIKE IT ONE BIT! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Run away somewhere and start a new identity!

2009-09-10T22:06:00.001+08:00

I'm overwhelmed with things to do!

yet I'm idling away.

I have so many things to do i dont know where to start.

I really need a break. Just run away somewhere and start new life.

2009-09-02T09:31:00.000+08:00

Now that I got that out,

HAPPYYYYYYYYYYY ONAM to all the malayalees everywhere!

Its the time of the year where the word diet has no meaning.

Its the time of the year where the family gathers and everyone meets everyone.

WOOOOO Cant wait for the feast!! HMMMMMM

2009-09-02T09:23:00.002+08:00

My family is just a whole big screw up.

Looks like my sisters and I are the only ones stuggling to hold everything together.

How long more are we supposed to hold?

Dont we need our own lives too??

Spare thought for us also can?

Its not always about you you and YOU!

Screaming at us each time we voice out doesnt mean the problem is solved,

It just means its getting bigger and bigger and one day it might be too big for anything to be

done, everything will fall apart and that will be the end of it all.

Dont say I never warned you.

A rubberband might be stretched a million times, but one day, its still going to snap.

2009-08-20T21:36:00.005+08:00

Hear Ye Hear Ye!

I've just got another title to my name.

I'm not only Nisha daughter of,
sister of,
grandaughter of,
cousin of,
niece of.

I've become an aunty again!
From Kunjama ( pronouced as Kunyama ) which means mother's sister, I'm also now
Nisha "Appacha" which means father's sister!

Its baby fever now!
The newest addition to our family. Rhea Sreejith!
Officially as of 20th August 2044 her first cry!

LOVES <3

2009-08-18T23:08:00.008+08:00

Baby, nothing ventured nothing gained.

I'm using yellow cause its the color for friendship =))

I need to find a way to make this known.

A way where it wont seem wrong or leave doubts in anyone's head.

This could be a friendship never forgotten.

A friendship that will always be there

even as we go our separate ways in the journey of life.

Infact we've already gone our separate ways.

10 years down the road.

We would just be at the prime age of our lives,

We'll be at vivo rooftop sharing our life stories ,

talking about anything, everything and

nothing again!

It only takes a spark, to get a fire going.

Should I strike the match?

it could be the start of something that will last forever

2009-08-06T14:59:00.002+08:00

GOSH! I was just reading through my last few posts and its been nothing but EMO! JESUS! ALL so EMO! HAHAHA

I promise more happier ones from now on okay! =)) I'll try cracking some humour even in my most emo post ;)

HAHA LOVES!

ps: IM NO EMO PERSON OKAY!

2009-08-06T10:49:00.004+08:00

" Be the Nisha that we know. Bullies are cowards"

That one sentence was all I needed. The boost to start today awesome and wash those bus3rds of my mind.

You only catch me vulgar when Im really pushed to the limits.

I've become someone I cant believe I am. I stand up for asses that disturb my sisters mom dad and loved ones. The same mouth that says" give it to them nicely dont leave them alone", is the same mouth muttering the words" i really cant. I really cant!"

I've built myself so tough on the outside but im nothing but shrivelled prunes inside.

Nah nah nah. Im picking my butt up this instant and shoving finger into people's faces.
All this is just the process of building myself.

Cement starts off a liquid withstands the sweltering heat that burns and becomes so solid one thinks twice before messing with it.

hmm im good.

One more week left. My mood is getting better. I just can't wait.

GIJOE TMR! WOOOOO!

Im happier now!

=)

LOVES!

2009-07-28T15:03:00.003+08:00

I need to vent again.

So bottled up inside.

How come I have to feel this way? Its like getting poked in the eye even without actually doing.

You know like when you're watching tv and someone gets stab you go "ough". Ya thats how i feel right now.

GOSH

I dont know if im dumb or not but GAAAAH! Its horribly irritating every nerve in me.

I've been seeing that sentence for a very VERY long time and suddenly now I'm wondering, what if now its mean't for me too?

GEEES Im not having mood swings. I just feel so vulnerable.

And it is finally clear to me now, cause i know what they mean when they say the tighter you hold the sand, the more they spill out.

I'm still keeping you close but Im letting go. I'll watch and if you fall, I'll let you pick yourself up cause that is my purpose here. =) There. Something positive. Now it doesnt seem so bad after all.

before i go. Heres alittle note to you appupa

Dont worry old man! Come wha may, we'll always be there with you okay!
LOVE YOU! <3

2009-07-27T15:39:00.003+08:00

what do you do when you want to keep them close but you cant't cause you're simply helpless.

I suddeny feel like a fool. Like all my words just fall onto deaf ears.

Dont my words mean anything? or at least dont I mean anything?

How come I care so much for people but always feel like an idiot after that?

I cant pretend to be oblivious simply because I care too much.

I'm going mad thinking about this too much.

I dont want to take a step back but I dont want to be too close for comfort either.

I think its only fair that I'm appreciated and I shouldn't feel this way because its not right.

GAAAAAAH! I should just shoot myself because SO many times I have thought to myself, if only I could just get knocked out and dont wake up for several months and then maybe people would realise what I am worth and then I wouldn't be taken for granted again.

This doesnt make me suicidal please. I value life too much =)

Im just so down I need to get it out. Who wants to hear me out?

I just saw everyone run off. see no one wants to listen. :(

p.s IM NOT EMO!

2009-07-23T09:54:00.003+08:00

Its today again.

Today we mourn for you.

Today we celebrate that you're in a better place

Today we reflect on how you have impacted us in everyway

Today we think back on things we should have done but didnt

Today we'll miss you more than usual

Today 3 years ago you left us all but today 3 years on, you're still here in all our hearts.

Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are?

up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky

Twinkle twinkle little star thank you for your tiny spark

he who could not see which way to go if you did not twinkle so

twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.

Iloveyou ammuma!

2009-07-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

Bless this soul oh Lord I pray, keep it safe by night and day.

2009-07-14T15:21:00.003+08:00

if its not me its them

if its not them its me.

I choose to think its them because I've been my usual me throughout.

Last yr went well so why this sem?

conclusion: its not me=)

Maybe its just to show me the road to success is not always smooth.

4 more weeks before I can kick them all good bye. The tears of joy I will shed will cause a hurricane and flash floods everywhere. Countdown to the 24th of Aug people and take the necessary precautions needed.

I can count the time I spent talking in class through out the semester would only add up to 1 hr worth of talk time. Believe it or not,

I've never been this agitated before and I've never cursed this much.

If the point of my finger could kill. They did all be dead flat on the ground by now.

Ugh! I feel a certain kind of violence building up inside me. Like wind up toys, I want to pull off their winds one by one and dispose them to be burnt and never be produced ever again.

After the storm comes the rainbow and the warm sunshine.

2009-07-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

we dont have to meet everyday
neither do we have to speak everyday

but whenever or wherever we meet, its like all walls are torn down and the bridge just forms all over again.

Its the people you least expect, that makes your heart fuzzy and warm because you know you're appreciated and loved.

You just know when its genunine and when its not.
Thats the blessing of the sixth sense.

Like my previous post, the smallest gestures mean the biggest things.
Today a simple "kiss" emoticon from a friend i least expected, made me smile. Someone remembered me. That means I'm special =)

2009-07-12T11:19:00.002+08:00

We choose what bothers us.
We choose what makes us happy.
We choose who stays in our lives and who doesnt.
We choose who stays close to the heart and who away.
We choose what we like to eat and what we dont.

We choose who we want to be and what we want to do!

2009-07-09T20:09:00.003+08:00

Sometimes words arent necessary to express our feeling and emotions.
Over the years, on my journey home from my sec school, the bus would stop at Balestier Sec, and suddenly the once peaceful bus becomes a loaded boom box with all the students yacking away. But admist all the hustle and bustle, there stands a group of either mute, deaf or even both, students deep in conversation and with the same level of excitement as the other normal kids. I used to watch them and smile. What do they lack? Not being able to hear and speak? But they've been blessed because they can do something many of us are not able to.

HAHA Im drifting from my purpose of this post.

On the 23rd floor directly below my house, there is this chinese guy who is deaf and mute and for many years, everything he sees us, his face lights up and his smile is practically from one ear to the other. He mouths a "hi" in the most enthusiastic manner, its almost as if he's saying it. Oh and its always accompanied with a big wave. SO genuine, it warms the heart and automatcially wipes of any doubts you might have about his genuinity.

I look forward to bumping into him because it doesnt matter if you're walking infront of him, or behind him anywhere also he'll make it a point to acknowledge and it leaves me all smiley and warm.
A sulky journey home last night was brought to a smile when I was dragging my feet home and he was infront of me. He took two turns to realise it was me and waved with that ever so big smile. Automatically I felt so warm.

See, who needs words? Sometimes is the smallest gestures that make a big difference. A simple pat on the back, a wave, or a smile could just make someone's day. Infact I think its worth more than words.

So the next time you meet eye to eye with a stranger just smile. You could brighten his/her day and that way, you would have made a little difference in his day or even life =)

Yeap!
LOVES

2009-07-06T15:25:00.002+08:00

When the weather is right, I'm out in school! thats called BAD LUCK!

I miss erika!
I miss those days during secondary school, where we would head to the esplande and have our moments.

We're in the same school but time doesnt permit us to meet.

She hardly comes for lunch and stays back EVERYDAY!

Erika dear erika... your bestfriend misses you!
I'm having withdrawal symptoms. HAHAHA

Its different during holidays.
we could survive the whole holidays without meeting up.

The value of friendship grows with us.

The older we get, the more we value friendship.

Many people have come but most leave..... only some stay and thats enough for me because the important ones matter to me most =))

DNP has been cooking for their bob succesfully for the past 3 weeks and its been a

success. lets hope it goes on! keep it up BOBBERS =)

2009-07-03T12:56:00.005+08:00

When you think the road is going no where and you almost gave up everything.

I wish I was home now sprawled on my bed crooning away to old songs with my packet of Cheetos!

but NO! Im stuck here in school cracking my head about voltage divider bia circuits and amplifiers.

HORRIBLE!

The new faci isn't helping. I liked my original one cause she was really really nice.
This whole week has been rather slack though. Maybe cause next week its gonna be a wholw new level.
PROBLEM 10 is next week which means 6 more weeks with this class! HALLELUJAH!
I've never been so much happier to leave my class.

10 weeks has passed.

I've learnt to ignore and simply be oblivious to my surrounding because I know
outside this classroom, life is WAY much better, simply because for 1, I've got my my bestfriend who will stickby me through thick and thin, my friends who accept and like me the way I am. And ofcourse last but no least, my home where even though it might not always be the best place to be, its the safest place for me because its just me and me and ME =)

I've got nothing to prove to this people because I'm working towards MY diploma to get MY degree and to get MY job. I'm building MY own future and these people are merely passer bys. Those whom IF i remember, I will look back and go "oh yea whatever"

WOO I'm feeling SO good right now!

ITS THE WEEKEND and thats the sliver lining

Let the weekend move by slowly.
Let it take its time to embrace every eager soul who awaited it.
Let is make every kid happy THEN
Let Monday take over and ruin us all again! HAHAHAHAHA

Im good! not bad! hahaha

Anyways I'll stop for now.
Tatas!

Might sound crazy but it aint no lie baby BYE BYE BYE!

NEW YORK HERE I COME!

oh John Abraham is LOVE!
I got my glasses in time. Now I can see him all clear. AWESOME =)

2009-06-30T14:19:00.002+08:00

(insert sound effect here) Dang dang dang DANGGGGGG!

I'm Bacccccccccck!

Aloha! And its me all the way from the National Library!

Yes yes its been so long since I blogged but I'm just tooo lazy. Hahaha

The aircon is just the right temperature, and what lies infront of me is the guy unwinding the charger to his mac book, the Singapore flyer peeking from behind Sun tec and the bubble lifts of the Pan Pacific hotel going up and down.

School last week was surprisingly good. quite okay and the number of H1N1 is increasing like no body's business. Erika got quarantine cause her classmate is infected :( I havent seen her for a week and now its gonna be a looooooong time before I see her again cause this week she's quarantined and the next she's flying to China for 5 days. =(

Sunday, we decided to cook for my dad again, since he was gonna be late from church. He said it was good =) Hahaha yay!

Yesterday accompanied mom to the polyclinic for her check up. Mom woke me up and told me to tag along so that she could get my ever dripping nose and itchy throat checked. My diagnosis? ALLERGY RHINITIS..... cannot be cure overnight though.. its a loooong process. Sighs
Evening got another diagnosis when I went t get my eyes checked. ASTIGMATISM!
Slight only but still!!! My ever so perfect eyes =( grrr collecting my glasses on thursday.. gonna have to start loving it. So thats the only new thing happening now. bing bong boinggg

I got to go now. I'll update again later. Tatas!

How long can you lie woman?
You can run but you sure can't hide woman!
ugh!

2009-06-22T21:44:00.003+08:00

I know i've posted quite a lot today but this one is important cause it was really touching.

My father sent us 3 an email of appreciation.
My father is the cutest thing!

I LOVE MY BOBBY! =)

2009-06-22T15:07:00.001+08:00

What would you do ?

2009-06-22T10:41:00.003+08:00

GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!

Lets begin with " I'M HUNGRY!!!!!"

its so crowded downstairs =(

sighs

I had a pretty good weekend!

Yesterday was one of the nicest Father's day ever and I could sense my father must have been touched. I got mellisa to help bake my father a diabetic chocolate cake which was LOVED! My father LOVED it. Bought my father a really scrumptious lunch from Banana Leaf and it was SOOOOOO YUMMY!

Highlight of the whole day was us three bobbers;) cooking!

Fried rics with chicken curry and potato cutlet.
Result= AWESOME

For the FIRST TIME, my father actually said it was good without complaining. Not that he usually complains but its like either it lacks salt or its too oily. But yesterday, NOTHING! He said MMMMmmm nice and took second round too! HAHAHA
we made him a cutlet in the shape of a heart and he laughed.

All ended well and my father was happy and so was my grandfather.

Saturday was an eye opener in many ways

I went for the hockey event thingy and it was really fun!

I was medic for the day which meant I got to sit beside the team's tent and watch the game.

US and Sing was the first match and I was seated beside TEAM USA!!!! Hahaha the match was AWESOME but Sing won 2-0 and the stadium was roaring.

Second match was India vs Poland and AWESOME! India won 4-0. EVERYONE was cheering for India ALL the way. I was seated beside India and the whole time I couldnt help but just beam. Eye wash! BOTH matches!

Event ended and everyone headed to picth for debriefing. Ics turned on sprinklers and everyone ran. HAHA poland started spraying water all over us. SO FUN! And girls were going gaga over the indian team, running to get autographs and photos. -_-?

Indepence was something I learnt in the event, cause many things happened and I came out happy and strong. I regret signing up for that event, but I enjoyed my last day! Haha it was indeed an experience.

Im still high from it. (not the guys but the event)

pics up soon
=)

2009-06-19T11:08:00.007+08:00

Benefits of positive thinking
by Nisha

1. Its perks one up.

2.You're blinded by the positive

3. Everyone suddenly seems nice

4. Work seems so easy

5. You feel happy

okay so some might be repeated BUT you get the drift.

I stepped in school saying it's gonna be a good day its gonna be a good day and SO

FAR, its been good. last typed: 12.21

Continued: 2.01pm

HAHAHAHA so much for positive thinking.

2 hours later and i'm panicking over my ppt cause I'm wondering how to present it.

WE"RE THE LAST TEAM! Which means MORE QUESTIONS! HALLELUJAH!

BUT i'm still positive =)

Yes P-O-S-I-T-V-E!!!100%

I'm BACK from presenting!

WOO it went well. Like totally awesome.

Im pretty happy with myself today cause i could understand. Now the next to move on

from her would be to REVISE CONSTANTLY so atleast from today on, I will be able

to do well! YEEEEEEHA!

WOOO!

Here comes the weekend YEA YEA YEA!

Tomorrow will always be better because it's built on today's happiness.

2009-06-17T22:45:00.001+08:00

WARNING! HIGH PMS MODE!!!

KEEP OFF UNLESS NECESSARY.

2009-06-16T23:35:00.006+08:00

There I go again.

I was reading through my sister's older posts and came across one she wrote about

my grandmother and all the emotions just came back again. As I read every word of

the rhyme, I could just hear my grandmother saying it. I suddenly remembered how

she always sang it and I would sing a long at first and later drift of into another world

with empty nods just to assure her i was listening.

I'm regretting so many things right now.

Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky

Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder what you are!

When the blazing sun is gone, when theres nothing he shines upon

Then you show your little light, Twinkle twinkle through the night.

Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder what you are!

Then the traveler in the dark, Thanks you for your tiny spark

He could not see which way to go, If you did not twinkle so

Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder what you are!

Imissyou!

2009-06-15T09:32:00.005+08:00

School is IN and I'm IN .
( i think)

I've got my postive mode on and I'm gonna keep it on for a looooooong time.

Grr UT today and JIVE ENDS AT 9.30!!

LOOOOOONG day today! BUT ....hais

Today i realised how holidays make you realise things

As i woke up today, getting ready for school, I was reflecting on my holidays and

made me realise how much I actually am thankful for having this holiday

1. Because my sisters were home.. BOTH

2. Though my small sis had school most of the time, we found time to have fun

3. My father went to malaysia which gave us three and mom time to bond.

4. My mom was on mc for 4 days so we had each other's company

5. My mom being on Mc meant we could all go out together for an all girls day out.

WE WENT TO PAMPER OURSELVES BY HAVING OUR HAIR DONE! (:

6. I got to study and keep my grandfather company.

7. I realised how much i missed my papa when he was in malaysia.

8. I did alot of thinking and realised alot of things.

Theres just SO many things.
I'm so happy and even though i miss being home with my two bummers of sisters, I'm happy I had those 2 weeks at least.

Hmmmm there is this warm fuzzy feeling inside me.
I'm happy with the way things are going if only i could just fix my parents then it will all be perfect but then again. its the imperfections that make life perfect.

I'm missing my Grandmother alot and I dont know why its so sudden.

So randomly waiting for mell today, this indian old lady was standing behind me with her daughter and suddenly I missed my Grandmother. There was something in her that just triggered the emotion.

Guess maybe some wounds just take a longer time to heal.

sighs....

The dream triggered it all.
Maybe she's trying to tell me something.
I miss her. ):

2009-06-10T22:09:00.003+08:00

All I did was threaten my mom that if she touches the root beer, she will haunt you and instead I saw her after a long time

I miss her and 3 years seem to pass so fast.

I cant remember what happened in the dream but all i know was I was hugging her and crying. Really loud sobs.

Everything felt so real that when I woke up I could feel my chest so heavy.

Its gonna be your third year soon.

I miss you ammuma!

That hug felt so real. And that hug is enough to get me through awhile more.

2009-06-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

My father has been bussed to malaysia for his annual church camp and its only been hours but we miss him ):

The cat is out so obviously the mice come out to play! wahahahaha
Its been fun so far but we miss papa!

My sis and I have started a campaign and its call to "BBB"
BE BETTER BOBBERS =)

you see we call our father BOB so we're his kids which makes us bobbers! hahaaha.
We're making changes and we're gonna make him happy!

Our old man needs us!=)

hmm its the first time we actually feel extra down that my papa is not home.
See... slowly slowly there's changes.

SO heres to us BOBBERS!!
HAHAHA

GO BBB! =)

LOVES!

2009-06-06T15:19:00.002+08:00

BOOOOOOOORRRRRRING!!!

IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORED!

im sick of studying and im sick of the internet.
The Tv isnt much help either and Singapore is getting too boring to hang out!

After a loooong time, yesterday, us three sisters headed to Vivo to picnic under the sun! Hahaha it was soooooo fun! Then we headed to Ps to watch Monsters vs Aliens which was really fun to watch cause its totally no brainer. It was really funny cause the crowd was really ON! Like the whole theater was roaring with laughter unlike the usual "im too cool to laugh" crowd!

Bought Ice creams and headed back home!

Hmmmmm

IM BORED! HELP ME SOMEONE!

2009-06-03T16:11:00.002+08:00

the world is not round

holidays are here!!! But for two measly weeks only. LOUSY!
I'll be slogging in school whilst my sisters enjoy their butts till end of month! Grrrr

Using my sister's phone to blog cause am at my grandpa's and am TIRED!!

I'm so tired and though its the holidays i cant seem to get enough sleep!!!

Supposed to gym with mell today but we're both too tired!

Sighs i gtg now hahaha

Loves

Suppose

2009-05-25T15:36:00.003+08:00

LOUSY!

I FINALLY ENDED EARLY AND I CANT LEAVE!

stupid jive event! ugh! *stamps floor*

2009-05-25T13:36:00.000+08:00

Today's lesson is by far the best so far.

played game as part of the lesson and we're done for the day by 12?

LOUSY cause i got to stay till 6 for JIVE ugh!

2009-05-21T15:23:00.002+08:00

Hey Young World!

hahaha okay so random. Currently listening to Kanye West rapping to knock you down and those words came just as my blogger popped hahaha erm.. okay whatever.

Im stuck on knock you down cause I love Neyo's voice.

You can say I'm in a better mood.
Lesson was pretty good today FOR THE FIRST TIME !
Faci changed teams and my current one is pretty good. I actually understand whats being said partly also because Han Qi helped me out yesterday! He's going to give me his notes from poly so Lets Pray!

it knocks you down just get back up when it knocks you down!

Its buzzing in me again. Someone switch off the buzzer. Its not supposed to buzz. Its a lesson learnt remember.

okay im done with class. Ut in half hour so i got to go try get whatever i can i my head.

:)

say love Love LOVE

2009-05-20T14:56:00.009+08:00

WARNING LOOOONG POST AHEAD PROCEED AT OWN RISKS.

Hello!

Its been a LONG time.

Yours truly was facing obstacles after obstacles and has finally found time to blog.

ANYWAYS....

so my birthday came and left leaving me with a BIG 19 on my forehead. Gosh another year to 20 and two years to 21.

It was finally a birthday with my sisters home and I couldn't be there:(
I HAD SCHOOL! LIKE ALWAYS only difference was it wasn't an exam day. I dragged my butt to school chanting away " today is a good day, today is my day". Lessons were kind to me. My classmate sang happy birthday for me hahaha. My shits got me a perfume which unfortunately gets me all HACHOO every time i sniff it. The day went by with dinner with my parents and a hong pao from my grandpa. My sisters and mom got me a bracelet watch from swatch and its really cute. I thought that was all for birthday but NOPE.. My Wooman people something on their sleeves hahaha. THE END

THEN one day

We( sara, my sis and I ) went lunching then phone shopping. My sissy bought her phone and got me one too! LG COOKIE! Headed to MOS at novena to rest as yours truly had a running tap of a nose. Was fiddling with my new phone when BOOM Erika appeared with a BIG green cushion with buttons sewn on it in the shape of N and a st marg's tie attached. They kept insisting that I stay and submit my PP at mos itself telling me to stay late since i couldn't go for tuition. They brought me to HARRYS! HARRYS BAR! HAHAHAHA like my first time CAN! Hahaha Got me to order my first official full glass of alcoholic drink
Bought some moutain breeze thingy. Sat there and suddenly Melllisa appears" coincidentally" then the waitress brings this colorful cake with strawberries topped on it obviously made by Mellisa. Hahaha they sang song for me! SO cute la. I mean i was suspicious of something but not this! Sara got me a mug that said " I'll drink anything that has beer" Like i should place that infront of my dad and he'll be all .
Hahaha I really had fun and it blessed me with a fever the next day. Mom brought me to KK cause she panicked when she saw 39deg. DONT WORRY NO SWINE FLU HERE. Just the normal fever. SO I rotted my thursday and friday away and finally breathed fresh air again on sat.
I would say that whole week went pretty well even with the fever.

OH I've been wanting to say this for so long.

FARM KOK QUAN! IF you see this... THANK YOU FOR SAYING ALL THOSE THINGS THAT DAY! IT REALLY MADE MY DAY AND YOUR SMS MADE IT EVEN BETTER!

Farm is so nice you know! He sang me happy birthday on msn and even drew me a cake with candle for me to blow out! Hahaha you see its the people you least expect that can make your day just by simple gestures. Its something definitely i wont forget cause I was really touched by him! ( okay tht sentence sounded wrong) HAHA.

OKAY no more words! only pictures.
ENJOY!

MY CAKE

my rootbeer float from billybombers

My WATCH

Cousin's reception!

our drinking snack! HAHA

MY Mountain breeze ( in red)

THATS ALL FOLKS!
TILL NEXT TIME!!

LOVES!

2009-05-07T15:12:00.002+08:00

Just a post i remembered i was suppose to post long ago. This was a little something erika gave me last year. Remember me this way by jordan hill. I cant seem to load the song but anyways i was clearing my comp today and i saw this song and considering the mood im in today, it really made me feel so warm! THANKS ERIKA! loves!

Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

* I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
Hmm……….. this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more apart of time, you're everywhere
I'll always cares
(Repeat *)

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side and all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe
(Repeat *)

2009-05-07T13:39:00.003+08:00

Yet another emo post
I promised myself no more.
I'm really hoping and praying really hard that I get to change class because my current one is really giving me alot of pressure. Its way too much for me to take cause NO ONE LISTENS to me nor
does anyone RESPOND to me.
One by one everything is screwing up. My laptop is playing tricks with me, my software wont run, my brain just wont function and NO ONE wants to help me!
Yes i can read books from the library but HELLO i still need that someone to talk it out with me.
I've bottled it up for so long today I just walked out of class and broke down. Its like I've reached the peak and i dont think I can go on any longer like that.

I miss the warmth that once filled the classroom.
The heart itches each time i bump into my last year's classmates cause of that special bond. Everyone is genuine, no fakes, smiles greet you everytime eyes meet everything! Like i feel more depressed each time i see them cause i wish i could just go back to those times and never move.

I know I have the potentials to do well but given my current situation, I find myself doubting my own potential. I'm not given the right thingy that enables me to unleash and and really show what I'm capable off.

Can't they see it. I mean we're all humans.
just like when you want to drive, you got to insert the key to turn the engine on, adjust the gear put your seat belt, then step on the paddle to move. You cant just sit in the car and step the paddle, expecting the car to move right.
SO I too have starting problems. I need to get my engine running, adjust to the enviroment, understand what's happening then step my paddle and move.

Ah fuck forget it. The stupid theories i come up with. Like it makes any sense at all.
I dont want to regret my decisions there still a little light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hoping its the end of the tunnel, and not just an on coming train.

would someone just send me into a coma for 1 year and let me just wake up to so that i could start things new again!

2009-05-06T13:25:00.004+08:00

Current location: National Library

Its been a while. I'm hating school cause I hate my new class. I dont know why out of hundreds and hundreds of people I had to one of those lucky few to change class AGAIN.

There's not a feeling of warmth at all. Everyday I step in class, its like theres not a single human being inside. No smile to greet you. NOTHING! You're just another insignificant thing thats oocupying space and taking in air. I DONT LIKE IT!

UGH!

I'm left to study on my own

Right from the start. no easy way out

I need to catch up!

ugh another stoopid emo post. :(

This whole week has been screwed for me.

My harddisk is GONE all my things my ever so preciouse things are GONE.

my lessons SUCKED

my classmate is the biggest ASSHOLE ever who thinks no one else understands chinese but him.

and my whole head is in a MESS!

I need someone to sort me out!

my birthday is in 5 days time and its not exciting at all.
I think i need my head scanned.

Oh wells i should just shut up now.
post again when I'm happy maybe ):

off to go buy water!
TATAS

2009-04-28T12:10:00.001+08:00

I hate it when reality strikes back!

I'M NOT EMOING NOW!
HELL NO!

my mircrochip lights can blink

2009-04-24T15:13:00.006+08:00

YOOOOOOOOOO PEOPLE!!!!!!!
Hello I can make my microchip light up so dont play play with me okay!
Hahahahahaha school started and its been horrible the past few days except today.
Haha I slept at 2.30 yesterday and could barely wake up for school. I condsidered not going, thinking lesson was gonna be horrid but HALLELUJAH thank god i came. It was Lab session! WOOO
microcontroller systems is the module name and its UBER cool!
The picture above is my bread board. Task for the day was to make the four bulbs light up. You'll see it later as you scroll hahaha. first hour of lesson was spent sulking cause i couldnt load the program. after lunch it was full force power. I managed to light it up via using my lappy as the control and yay me cause i managed to play around and change the pattern of the lights. I was so excited cause FINALLY i could present confidently!

My team sucked again but it was okay cause Ferra and I managed to handle the whole thing well cause we both were the onlyblurred ones who went all out to solve it. Did i mention we two were the only clowns taking pics of our microchip and getting all hyped when we discovered something new. Hahahahaha GIRL POWER!

Gosh. I'm physically tired and its because I'm still getting used to school and also my this whole week has been filled with running around to do stuff since Sat. I need a good day's sleep.

And FINALLY our D'nap productions is almost done! Its like finally the baby is born!
Hahahahaha. Yesterday's shooting was the bomb hahaha we had fun creating our own "company" shirt and video. I cant wait to show it ! Hahaaha GO D'nap! GOOD JOB! * hits chest with fist* " PEACE OUT" (insert usher's yeah here) hahahahaha hmmmmm everything is going well and thats good. Alright we're ending class now and its time for me to scoot. Tatas !
LOVE.
see my videos down okay! hahaha its uber kool! one is the normal blink and the other is alternate. my own customization!

PEACE(:

2009-04-16T11:29:00.003+08:00

Yours truly and her little sister went to watch Jonas brothers 3D concert experience yesterday.
Yes you read it right. Jonas brothers! Hahahaha
I couldnt believe it either.
Now I'm a declared Jonas brothers fan! I formed a fan club consisting of my small sis and I. WOOO! Nick Jonas is the BOMB! hahahaha whats up with me and guys with curly hair man! oh gosh i got to get it out of my system ;)

ANYWAYS the concert was AWESOME. If they come to singapore I'm getting front row man. hahahaha theres hardly any boybands left these days and yesterday just watching jonas brothers, made me feel so young and all girlish inside again, you know like they call it the boyband crush. hahaha I was more excited during the concert then my sis haha cause she was feeling conscious but I couldnt be bothered! Nope i wasnt the oldest there. you'll be suprised. WOOO go nick go nick go nick! hahaha the 3D effect was really awesome and I think it was worth the money and time. I'm glad I chose my sister over myself, cause at the end of the day we both had something common to screech about and its very rare that happens hahaha and as i was lying down to sleep and filling my elder sis about the whole thing I was so happy i slept with a smile on my face and I know my small sister appreciated it and i'm happy that i made her happy! WOOO

Oh oh i bumped into stef and erika whilst buying the tickets hahaha then walked around with them while waiting for my sis to come and went our separate ways! HOOOO BABE!

hahaha okay i'm all hyper again! Tatas!

GO nick! WOOO!!

2009-04-09T15:11:00.001+08:00

yr taken: 2004

Woman! where are you?!
I've got something really need to tell you but i'm wondering how.
oh lord!

The good life.... yea right

2009-04-09T14:13:00.003+08:00

What is good life?
Who defines what a good life is?
Does sitting around the house everyday doing nothing = to good life?
sitting around aimlessly swatting flies and wishing lightning could strike you mean good life?

I'm sick of people telling me how good my life is cause i seem to be SO free.
Truth be told being TOO free is NOT good at all cause like the saying goes, an idle mind is a devil's workshop. For all you know that aimlessly swatting flies person could be looking at you and say" sighs..what a good life she/he has"
Can't we all just be satisfied with whats on our plates instead of wishing there was something more? I mean we're all where we are for a reason.
Be satisfied your alive and kicking cause at the end of the day when you think about it. That is the good life, just being able to wake up to a brand new day.

Its two weeks before school starts. I sill haven't accomplished some things yet. Sighs

2009-04-07T14:39:00.005+08:00

Well, my last night was spent rolling around in my bed, trying to get myself to sleep and eventually did.
Woke up to yet another day with the same old routine.

Woke up at 7.45am to send my mom off. Sprawled on my sofa for my daily dose of Nanny. Flipped between Oprah, Mtv and ellen till about 10. Watched Beauty and the geek til 11 and did my skipping. Walked around the house to cool off then sprawled on my floor to decide what to do next. Didnt feel like doing the laundry so headed to my room and logged on for a while. had lunch with my papa who came early. Came back to the comp. Watched Oprah and nodded off infront of the tv and back infront of the comp i am again!

The same old stupid routine everyday. I'm so sick of it. I've got to give tuitions on Mondays and Thursdays from 7.30-9.30 and My own math tuiton on wednesdays 7-10. Gees man thats the only activity. My sister's gone to back to school and work and i'm left to rot till the 20th. Well actually till my cousin comes back from her wedding then at least i'll be occupied preparing for the reception. Oh OH yours truly might be emcing that day;) koolness huh?

Its gonna be a big event and I'm so excited to be part of the whole preparation. WOO

Hahaha finally I sound like i have some life! hahahaha
I just hate routines.

School's opening soon and I'm looking forward because it means FRIENDS! But my new class is like alienated from everyone. well more like everyone is alienated from me! :( Erika is in E4 where ever tht is.. Sara is in E2 .. My shits are scattered all over and Mellisa and Nicole are like away away! IDONTLIKE! =( never mind... theres lunch breaks and after school! I hope no one forgets me =(

Just browsing through my hardisk and saw some pics of the stupid things I ever did hahaha

In the middle of the whole parade ground. Erika and I chanting our prayers

while mai and laveena strut their stuff.

When chapel gets too boring.

I cant believe how i used to look those days

haha

Shits fireworks! ( turned out fireworks display was the following week)

who needs colgate with that smile;)

Yea right!

2009-04-04T14:04:00.002+08:00

if i went missing would anyone notice?
will my presence be missed?

I've been thinking too much lately.
bang bang you die!
knock me out please someone.

sighs

2009-03-31T21:53:00.003+08:00

I want to bang my head.

i'm in one of my moods and its making me think alot.
I think I'm just a whole mess.

lets distant from each other okay?

2009-03-19T22:35:00.002+08:00

Now that was how I felt when I held it in my hand!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FALALALALA FALALALALA FALALALALA

SOMEONE'S HAPPY SOMEONE'S HAPPY

SING THE HAPPY SONG!

WOOOO man, do i feel SOOO awesome right now!

HALLELUJAH!

2009-03-16T23:07:00.002+08:00

Someone just had her nails done! someone feels like a bimbo now!
someone is soooooo bimboiee now! wahahahahha.

I love my nail color like TOTALLY

OKAY! yours truly So needs her beauty sleep now! tatas

2009-03-16T21:39:00.006+08:00

Its really interesting how each friend you have, has a special spot in your heart.
In the past two weeks that passed, I've finally met up with my BEST friend Erika and FINALLY met up with my babe/ brother from another mother FARIZA FATHIMA FURZANAAAAAHHH!

These two some how have that little special spot in me because of the things we went through. Its them I feel so comfortable, cause I know they've seen my up and down just like I've seen theirs.

Hahaha Love you babes!

Sooooooo long since I blogged know? Haha I've just been catching with lost people and now that it's school hols, I'm spending lost time with my small sissy and big sissy before they start school and leave me rotting till the 20th of April.

I caught up with Erika over Indian food at A1 and toured around the whole of little India, on a quest to find potentials for me, more like Erika's quest to find potentials for me. School has been closed two months and I miss her like siao hahaha.

Thursday:

Finally pulled my brains together and met up with brother from another mother FARIZAAAAA!
We decided to have our usual session of emoing and this time it was at our second favourite place.. EAST COAST!!!

It was really nice to have met her after SOOOOOO LOOONG. God knows how long its been hahaha. Even though its been donkey months, the moment we met, we clicked immediately.

Bused our way to East coast while filling each other up with the latest gossips of who did what and where. Hahahaha.

Cycled our butts to Kfc at big splash for lunch and sang our hearts out as we paddled about. History repeated itself this time, as we were heading back to the cycle shop, I sang the same magical song i sang the last time and next thing I knew, that woman fell off her bike! I couldnt help but burst into a fit of laughter( infact even now I'm laughing as I type it out)

Just for those of you who don't know, the last time we went to east coast and cycled, when I sang this particular part " break it off boy this has got me feeling naughty" from rihanna's break it off, Fariza fell of her bike and landed in a longkang.This time out of total innocence as I sang the song, she fell onto the pavement! Hohoho and fact was I was teasing her about it the whole time and it actually happened.

We laid our mats( we upgraded from newspapers to a proper mat) and flooded each others phones with pictures. Sat on the rocks and crooned to our favourite tunes while shaking our butts.

deep concentration as we crooned to Nach baliye! WOOO

Fariza even tried commiting suicide just to take a stupid picture which unfortunately I dont have with me.

Its was a really nice feeling. The whole day left me feeling light. From the gossips to the giggles and our ever so wasted efforts of trying to be cool and bitchy, was simply awesome.

Attempt to be cool number 1

Result: failed!

Attempt to be cool number 2

Result: failed

Our day ended eating ice cream in the rain ( well drizzle but still).

I want to do it again soon!

Oh and my god, as I browsed through the photos Fariza took with my phone, I bursted out laughing in the bus because.... hahahaha i just found it really funnily cute! HAHAHAHA oh well I'm sure fariza loves my pictures which i took with her phone ;)

OOOH HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISSY! WOOOOO

2009-03-09T13:48:00.002+08:00

നിഷ
If not for me atleast for him
I need to work hard
I'm tired mentally!
Alot has been happening inside me!

2009-02-24T15:59:00.002+08:00

Hoi hoi!

Remember this song i wrote last year?
Sometimes i wished i knew how to play the guitar.
Then i could sit by my favourite spot everyday
and strum to the rythm that my heart plays.
But till that happens, all i have are lyrics of songs
i wrote, waiting to be sung in tunes that will
make them dance.
Feet in the water, a guitar in my hand,
i stare blankly at what lies before me.
i can hear the tunes i want to play,
but my fingers can't keep up
and all they can do is look clumsy as they helplessly strum.
If i could play the guitar,
i'll sing my own songs
make my own hits
burn them in a cd
and i'll call my album
Music from the Heart!

yeah... I'm still finding a tune for it! Hahahahas just randomly reading my archives when I saw it.
got an idea? LET ME KNOW!

anyways gtg now
time to scoot!
tatas! LOVE!

2009-02-18T21:25:00.004+08:00

HELLO WORLD!
Hahaha anyways before I begin.. the previous post was done by my sis while I left my blogger open and went loo loo and she dared me to leave it on so YEA! IN YOUR FACE SISSY!

OKAY!
So I've been consistent with my swimming. My color is getting tanner and tanner each time.
I've become from this

To this! no edit just alittle shadow but its TANNED!

I'm finally able to swim in the middle lane AWAY from the wall! I swam 12 laps yesterday out of which 8 times were in the middle lane! Haha I finally got over the fear of the depth of the pool! YAY ME!

Today was SENTOSA with my Shits ( well only HalimKing , Lene and angie )+ Kok, Zac and Yan Nee ( my sem1 classmates)

Yan Nee Left for K box while the rest of us stayed back! HAHA . It was fun! So it was just 3 girls and 3 guys. We burried Kok and played in the water. The guys entertained themselves in the water while we girls sat and took in the sun, sand and SIGHT;) if you know what I mean. We sat on the rocks and sang our songs! All in all the whole thing was fun especially the bathing part. Angie, Lene and I were like shouting across the cubicles, to pass the shampoo and conditioner hahaha the whole scene was funny! OH and THANK GOD i didnt get burnt like the guys and Lene! hahaha HALLELUJAH!!

Its a nice shot but angie and I got cut off.. Oh and Yan nee is missing !

Haha hais.. I was just looking at my skin... I like the look! Its glowing! A healthy glow! I LIKE!

Thats all for today. Hahaha oh and that pic below is really funny cause hahaha there was no sun and flash at all when we took the pic but yet somehow, I stood out in it. As in my face is so stunning among all. Hahahaha maybe cause I'm Queen eh ;) haha omg I can so imagine Lene rolling her eyes at this! HAAHA

TATAS LOVE!

2009-02-17T20:49:00.002+08:00

Nisha Sucks big time. She is a big ball of kuckoo buckoo. She is a Ding Dong King Kong who likes to play ping pong with a pom pom. HAHAHAHA and press BONG BONG on the car horn.